Potty Training Was Like Water Boarding It Broke Me

Is it possible that one tiny bodily function that is suppose to be normal could be so incredibly impossible at the same time? You would think with a blog name like Mompreneur Mogul that I can handle anything. You would think that, but you’d be wrong. I’ve been reduced to crying in the bathroom and it all happened because of a 3/12 year old agent of torture I fondly refer to as “my little bean.” I’m thinking that pooping must be the most terrifying thing on the planet. There has to be some type of poop monster that children see when the go to the toilet. Because the diaper? Perfect no problem there. She’s even asked if I would put her diaper BACK on just so she could unload in it. I actually did put her diaper on  several times just so I could get out of the bathroom and end my own feelings of “I’m getting the life sucked out of me I can’t take this one more second.”  Sad but true. She is not the only one who is afraid.  Every time I tell myself that this is the day we will push through this dreadful moment I grow weak under the pressure and the whiny drama and I give in.

POtty training problems

I’ve talked to some parents about their potty training woes and I have discovered that not everyone gets to enjoy the same torture I’ve been through.  You know who you are. “Oh my baby used the potty at 1 1/2. Cried over pooping? Nope never.” I try to love you but let’s face I didn’t want to. At least not while going through my own anguish.

At times when I sat in the bathroom for 40-50 minutes with insanity creeping over me as I repeated over and over, “You can do it. Just push. It’s Ok. NO don’t cry that won’t help. Here is some water, chocolate, Squeeze Mickey (her toy) Here’s your sucker.” Whatever I could do to pass the agonizing time and get her mind off of the apparent potty training monster I did. After countless months of pleading, begging and bribing, I am beyond excited to say that I think we are finally on the other side.

I’m a little delirious from my experience so I’m not even sure how it happened. One minute I was coaxing, “PUSH, BREATHE” and the next minute we had victory.” Immediately after my precious bean who had literally been complaining and whining and made me feel like I was literally being tortured said, ‘Well that was easy wasn’t it mommy?” “Oh yea.” I wanted to say. “Easy like falling into a cactus bush in a bikini.” “Yes Matilda it was soooo easy.” I said to her with a big smile and all the energy I could muster up to show off a ” poop in the potty” dance.

At least she finally was able to figure it all out. Thank the Lord because I seriously could not handle one more day of that torture. And unless you’ve had to sit in a potty for 45 minutes listening to a toddler convince you they don’t need to be in there… well you just really don’t know how bad it can be.

So I’m happy to announce on Nov 11 2014 that my 3 1/2 year old is finally potty trained. I never thought I’d make it and Matilda when you get older I am giving you a warning that YES I will show this post to all your friends & definitely your future husband just to get back at you for all the major drama queen moments you put me through. It’s the least I can do. I can’t believe that as a grown woman something as seemingly silly as pooping on the potty would have almost finished me. I’m not bitter I’m just so happy it’s over. REAL happy.

Thanks for reading my potty training story. Hopefully yours won’t be half as bad. I’d love to hear from you and stay connected so please do say hi in the comments  below or visit us on Facebook.

For the record I love my daughter more than life and looking back I suppose every moment we spent in the bathroom those three long days was worth it.

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