My life is very busy. Probably on most days too busy. Like so many of you I blast through my day multi=tasking like a madwoman on a bad caffeine trip. I’m an entrepreneur, business owner, housekeeper, wife, mom, blogger, influencer, brand social media manager, coach and youth worker. I left a few out because afterall you don’t really need to know everything I do right? In the midst of this chaos my daughter is about to turn 4 in April. She is amazing. I’ve never had a creature so small make me so crazy and so blissfully happy at the same time. Moms you get me right? But in the middle of it all I’m keenly aware of this one fact. Matilda doesn’t listen to what I tell her to do instead she copies my every move.
I have some friends who are also parents and they chant the famous parenting mantra so many of us have heard, “They are kids they will listen to me and that’s that I’m the boss and they are not.” Meanwhile those parents curse up a storm while telling their kids not to speak that way, they fill their eyes with tv shows they tell their children are not good influences, and they talk about discipline and they have almost none.
So what happens? Your child learns through experience. If you tell them something and live totally contrary to what you are telling them then your kids won’t understand. It’s a fiercely confusing message at best. And even though you may force them to bend to your will through fear and intimidation when they are out of your sight they will act exactly like you do. It’s sad isn’t it?
I’m learning this more and more every day. It’s so hard to run your own business and launch a brand like I am doing with Snuggwugg
But if Matilda hears me flipping out and she has suddenly her anxiety level is through the roof.
Sometimes we are driving and my little four year old yells “Cars move out of our way you idiot!.” ;( I won’t tell you if that is me or her daddy but hearing that word out of that little mouth I realize we’ve made some mistakes.
I have a lot to learn about being a mom and I make more mistakes than I care to. But I don’t beat myself up. I try to be better each day. I try to give her space to make her own mistakes while guiding her to make better decisions. I try to not be so caught up in my “social” world that I forget I have the most precious little girl right beside me in the real world.
I try to remember that if 10,000 of you don’t read or comment on this blog post today that it has no measure on me regarding my success or value as a woman or even a blogger.
I try to set my keyboard down and pick the bubble wand up. I try to go to the park and honestly while most moms heads are buried in their phones I purposely leave mine in the car. What if I miss a smile? A wave? A “Look mommy what I can do?”
Here is a final small yet profound thought. I’ve been by the bedside of a dying friend. I got the call when another left his world in an instant seemingly young and vibrant. Life is so short.
Even though I have big dreams and goals for ministry, for life for my daughter. Through it all I remember that she is watching my every move. So I’ve come to the realization that she will never do what I tell her to do. She will grow up and do exactly what she saw.
This is my parenting AHA moment.