Parenting Is Not For Weaklings – Poop’N Out The Doggie Door

Parenting is not for weaklings. Like you I have friends with kids and friends without. Sometimes I’ve heard my friends “without” chime in and say, “Oh I didn’t want kids.” You would have to be there to understand the tone but it’s as if that’s some badge of honor. A special award for not going through parenthood so to speak. Well any parent can attest that if you really want an award tell me how you survived your kid putting your cell phone in the toilet, or found your naked toddler running out into your yard or worse yet the neighbors then we’ll talk about badges.

Today was another survival day for me. And when I shared with my G-Friend what M did she laughed and said I should write a book. Well I’m not ready to write my second book. Well not yet. But I found today’s parenting moment too funny not share with you on my  blog.

It’s 11 Am in Las Vegas and I’m working at a frantic pace as usual. I know I have a limited window before Miss M looses it and tells me to stop working. I run my businesses from home. Which should be a luxury but when you have a 4 year old it’s really not. So I’m working on orders on my computer and I try to give her some freedom. I told her, “watch your show or work on your learning on mommy’s IPad,”  Whatever she wants. However as I’m clicking away on my keyboard over to my left upon my computer screen I see an image that is NOT related to my work. I can see behind me as if looking through a dim rear view mirror Miss M.

Now I think to myself, ” I can’t be seeing what I think I’m seeing.”  But sure enough I turn around to find her standing outside the doggie door  on our back patio again. She has an obsession with it. The doggie door that is. I have no clue why. I thought that today when  she attempted a doggie door escape and she became wedged in it with my English Bulldog Harley having her pinned as if he was trying to help and looking at the two of them stuck, well I thought that would have cured her. But alas I was wrong.

So I look and there she is outside. She is standing outside with her pajama top on and her bottoms OFF. Zero Zilch nothing. Naked as a j-bird in the back yard in front of our neighbors, God and everyone. And she is squatting. So after my initial shock of seeing my naked pre-schooler in my back yard I yell for her to come back inside the house.

I asked her, “What on God’s green earth do you think you are doing outside in the backyard with no pants on!” To which she looks at me as if it’s the most normal thing in the world and said, “I’m pooping.”

I explained that we don’t poop outside and to never ever go out that doggie door or try to poop outside again.

Her response to me was typical and priceless, “But I have to.” Of course you do why didn’t I realize that? Dumb mommy.

Wow.

 

funny parenting

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